My 32-year-old female friend who does marketing for a medical device company is dating a 27-year-old future doctor who’s currently in a residency program at Hackensack Medical Center in NJ. He works long hours and makes less money than she does but he’s going into orthopedic surgery for sports injuries so he will eventually have a very lucrative practice. He’s really smart and thoughtful. Since his focus is on his career and not their relationship he told her that she should date other guys because he can’t promise that he’s going to marry her once he starts his practice. She’s taken this as a love challenge so she’s paying for him to stay as her guest in her Hamptons share and is showing him that she genuinely loves being with him and is not in the relationship just to become a doctor’s wife. She’s getting a lot of pressure from her girlfriends to dump Dr. Selfish and find a guy with real money by going to the Hamptons without her non-committal boyfriend/sponge. So let me ask you this. Is a bird in the hand really better than two in the bush? Or, in this case, the Hamptons.
By To27 Contributor Cass Almendral, Founder of CassWorld.com.
Read more of Cass’s Column for To27 “CassWorld on the Scene”
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If her goal is marriage, she should break up with him.
Although he doesn’t sound selfish and i believe he did the right thing, she should also - and bail.
1) If he is “working long hours” how does he have time to go to the Hamptons? All my DR friends didn’t have time to poop during residency - let alone get from the suburbs of NJ to the middle of Long Island that is like 11 hours of travel every weekend…
2) The phrase, “Go date other people, I don’t think I want to marry you” should be a clue.
3) The fact that she is paying for him to stay with her says, simply, that she isn’t looking for the love of her life, she is looking for her MRS… DR…
She should move on! Unless, of course, this is what she wants… then, who am I to judge? Hey - does she have any other friends with disposable income? I could use a few free weekends in the Hamptons - no strings attached, of course