We’re obsessed. You don’t know the Hamptons if you don’t know – or at least know of – Justin Ross Lee. He’s at Pink Elephant, he’s at Babette’s, he’s all over the Hamptons blogs. He’s at capacity with 5,000 Facebook friends, so if you want to friend him, he’s going to have to de-friend someone less attractive than you. And then there was The Ashley Olsen Incident.
We had to know more about this man. He kindly submitted to our inquiries.
THE BASICS
Who are you???
Justin Ross Lee. ™.
Why do people care?
People are polarized. They either love or hate everything JRL, but as long as I’ve created an emotion, they consider me their guilty pleasure and I’ve done my job.
What are your life goals?
Early retirement: Flinging, flying, and floating.
Do you have a job?
I’ve become my job, as self-employed as I am self-absorbed.
How many people do you have in your cell phone?
At press time my iPhone’s rolodex is complete with 847 numbers, including Pauly Shore, Sammy Sosa, Mystery (the pickup artist), Doug Parker (the CEO of US Airways), and Alfonso Ribeiro (Carlton Banks). I also have some important numbers.
What do you like so much about going out?
“Going out” is a salacious social contact sport sponsored by Grey Goose and Planned Parenthood. I put in a 40 hour work week. It’s also a great drunken way to collect numbers from 20-somethings (which are useless until I have a daughter pledging a sorority at Indiana).
What do your parents think of your lifestyle?
My mother has an overwhelming concern that I will inevitably “knock up a shiksa.” This is clearly showcased in one of my Facebook videos: “Interfaith Dating: Motherly Advice.” My father thinks my lifestyle is easy because he’s never had the opportunity to text a woman into sleeping with him. My mother doesn’t know how to text. I once sent her a message that said “Testing.” She flipped out, thought her Nokia was challenging her, and almost threw it in the sink.
Where are you banned from?
Lifetime bans from: Restaurant 212, Pastis, Terminal 3 @ Newark Int’l Airport, Best Buy in Chelsea, 1OAK and any Time Warner customer service location.
THE HAMPTONS
Where do you stay out here?
I’ve never learned to ½ or ¼ share. In fact, I’ve never even had a real threesome except for one yenta with a split personality. This is what makes me an expert, the fact that I live out here: weekend-season long. Some of these lavish share houses end up looking like the Super Dome after Hurricane Katrina hit Great Neck. My family owns a house in East Hampton and I invite my closest confidants out for the weekend.
What is your favorite club and why?
Don’t really get “Axe” Lounge this season. Dune was a great brand. Why the format change? If any club should sound like it’s sponsored by a body spray, it’s Pasha, not Dune. Dune smells like worn-out Louboutins, melted swiped plastic and regret.
My favorite club is without a doubt Pink Elephant. It is consistently consistent and always a great time. The waitresses are hot and have the least “-tude” out East. Any venue in the Hamptons is only as good as its human capital. Stephan, who runs the door, makes sure to let the right people in. Also, Pink Elephant has finally moved the entrance from the front to the side, equipped with a larger door for my head.
What is your favorite bar and why?
Nello is a great option for when your Black Card has gone straight to your head. Love Stephen Talkhouse. Been going there for years. It’s great to see Billy Joel stop in unannounced, play a song, drink and attempt to drive home. But my favorite spot is Cyril’s in Amagansett. B.B.C.’s with floaters and over-the-hill 30somethings with caked-on makeup and 50 cents of every ex-husband dollar earned make for a lucrative afternoon.
What are your favorite things to do during the day here?
Brunch at Babette’s, walking around East Hampton Town dodging Yenta stop and chats, poolside hangovers at my residence.
What are the best places for picking up women?
Neptunes for the tramp-stamped tanning salon employee, “Vinny where’s my cheese balls” rims on a ‘01 CLK 320 time of your life. Never actually been there. Does this place even qualify as Hamptons? Isn’t it on the other side of the Midtown Tunnel?
What happened during your craziest weekend in the Hamptons ever?
When the statute of limitations passes, I am pleased to answer. Until then, I plead the 5th.
